


Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend

by fulltimeintrnthomo



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bisexual Dan Howell, Coming Out, Discussion of Biphobia, Discussion of Homophobia, Fluff, Implied Gender Questioning, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marriage Proposal, The Boyfriend Tag, Valentine's Day, an offhand comment about depression and dissociation, and i don't mean fuck, bear and lion as nicknames, mention of conversion therapy, mention of outing, mention of the v-day video, reclaimed queer mention, some offhand comments about dan wearing makeup, they're in manchester but this is set in 2018, tiny mention of the f word, video filming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fulltimeintrnthomo/pseuds/fulltimeintrnthomo
Summary: Dan proposes to Phil while filming a video on a trip to Manchester





	Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lordtacotaco](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lordtacotaco).



> Title from Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

_I whispered underneath my breath_

_But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight..._

The lines of the famous song ran through the store Dan was in. He was looking for a Valentine's Day gift for Phil. Suddenly, he got an idea. He quickly walked out of the store, and his feet took him to a familiar jewelry shop. He was drawn to the engagement rings, so he thought he'd just look at them from a distance, wondering if he would ever have the courage to propose.

He wasn't expecting to walk out of the shop, around £200 over budget, with a ring in his pocket, nearly two hours later.

If he was being honest, he had had a proposal speech planned since before The Video. He was planning on proposing then, and then The Video went public and Dan and Phil stopped speaking. Dan had no hope for them getting back together, so he just sold the ring, and that was the end of that. But now the universe clearly wanted Dan to propose.

Dan had gotten back to the house and greeted Phil with a kiss. "Bear, are you packed?" Dan shook his head; he, of course, was packed, but he needed an excuse to get his suitcase again. Phil sighed. "Dan. We don't need another deodorant issue. Pack."

Dan nodded and went into his bedroom. He immediately stuffed the ring in his drawer, sure he wouldn't propose during their week in Manchester. But what if the moment came up... "Dan! We don't have much time!" Phil knocked on the door. Panicked, Dan grabbed the ring and put it in his suitcase. If the moment arose, he'd have it with him.

"Coming!" Dan opened the door. He smiled. "Are you ready to leave?" Phil nodded. He turned off the lights and grabbed Phil's hand.

Phil smiled. He noticed the wetness of Dan's hand. He looked at Dan, question on his face. Dan immediately pulled back. "Why are your hands sweaty?" Phil asked.

Dan smiled secretively. "You'll see, Lester." Fuck. He'd have to propose soon now...Phil looked at him strangely. Dan brushed it off and they got in the car to go to the train station. "So...uh...how do you feel about weddings?" He was trying to get Phil's thoughts on the topic before he actually proposed.

"Dan, why are you asking me this?" Phil asked. Crap. Phil was onto him.

"Can't a guy know his boyfriend's thoughts on weddings?" Dan asked, trying to brush the question off.

Phil shrugged. "I don't know. I think they're sweet. I don't think I'll ever get married, but it's a nice thing to think about."

Dan frowned. "Why don't you think you'll ever get married?" He thought Phil didn't want to, and he was terrified of asking him now.

"I definitely want to. Someday. To you." Phil smiled at him and grabbed his hand. "But I don't think it's realistic."

Dan sighed, somewhat relieved. Phil wanted to get married, but he didn't think it was realistic for some reason. "Why isn't it realistic for us to get married? We love each other, it'd be a lot easier on taxes..."

Phil frowned slightly. "Because then we'd have to tell our audience about us. There's no way we could hide being married from them, one of them will notice no matter how careful we are. I know you don't want to come out, and I won't force you to."

Dan frowned and looked down at his legs. He muttered, "But what if I want to come out?" He shakily breathed out and hesitantly looked up and into Phil's eyes. "What if I want everyone to know exactly who you are to me?"

Phil beamed. "How should we? The boyfriend tag? Chapstick challenge? You've been getting so much better with makeup since we did it with Cat years ago; maybe we could do that my boyfriend does my makeup challenge on my channel? Or boyfriend vs. best friend?" Phil's mind was racing with ideas. Dan giggled; how cute could his boyfriend get?

Dan smiled. He liked the idea of doing the boyfriend tag, and then he could propose on camera. "Let's do the boyfriend tag. Should we do it this week?"

Phil nodded warily. Why did he want to do it this week? Phil wanted to come out, but Dan had only just brought up the idea... He brushed it off, likely worrying over nothing. "Sure." 

* * *

Once the two were settled into their hotel room, Dan started looking at questions for the boyfriend tag. He found a lot of good questions from a lot of different websites. He quickly finished and started spinning around in the office chair at the desk, nearly making the charger fall out of his laptop.

Phil looked up from what he was doing on his own laptop when Dan started swearing. He smiled fondly over at Dan. "What happened?"

Dan sighed and blushed, embarrassed. "Spinning around in an office chair at the desk where your laptop is plugged in is not a good idea."

Phil started to laugh. Dan loved that laugh, and he made sure to always let Phil know. "Are you bored?" Phil asked, knowing the best way to get Dan to tell him something was to ask him directly. Dan nodded. "Do you wanna start shooting?"

Dan nodded. "Yeah. Let's." He smiled. "Let's put it on your channel. I want to do a more serious video with topics that wouldn't really fit on your channel."

Phil nodded. He smiled and turned the camera on. After setting it up on his tripod and making sure they were both in shot, he smiled and waved at the camera. "Hey, guys! Today I have a very special guest with me!"

Dan sighed. "Phil, I'm not a special guest anymore. I've been in so many of your videos before. Even if not on-screen, I've been helping with stuff behind the camera."

"Okay, true, but you're still special to me," Phil said. Dan smiled. "If you couldn't tell from the voice, the guest is my boyfriend, Daniel Howell." Phil smiled. "God, it feels so good to say that. Anyway, we compiled a list of questions for us to ask each other because today we're doing the boyfriend tag! If you don't know what this is, basically we're gonna ask each other questions about us and our relationship. This is not a competition, okay?" Dan nodded. "Okay. When and where was our first kiss?"

"Oh, that one's easy. October 19, 2009 at Manchester Piccadilly. I didn't just nearly knock Phil over with my hug, I ran into his arms and kissed him. That's what knocked him over. You were wearing that shirt I always said I liked over Skype. He was wearing that shirt during the first Phil is not on fire. After I knocked him over, I told him I couldn't believe he was real."

"I remember being so happy. So happy that I didn't even care that you had knocked me over and we were both on the dirty floor of the station." Phil smiled, remembering their first meeting more than eight years before.

Dan beamed. "Who said 'I love you' first?"

"You did. But then I didn't hesitate to let you know I love you, too." Phil smiled. "I do. I love you so much, Dan." He grabbed Dan's hand. "What's my shoe size?"

Dan's eyebrows furrowed, and he frowned slightly as he thought. "48...I think...?" When Phil nodded, he smiled again. "What's something I wish you didn't do?"

"There's a whole lot. But the biggest one is eating your cereal," Phil said. Dan nodded, feeling triumphant that he was finally getting through to Phil about his cereal problem.

Phil smiled as he read the next question. "What am I good at?"

"God, I could make a list. He's good at cheering me up, making videos, coming up with creative ideas, badgering me to make danisnotonfire content...," Dan said. "There's a lot he's good at. And a lot I'm crap at."

Phil frowned. He didn't like when Dan put himself down. "Dan, you're not crap at most things. Sure, you are at some things, but everyone is. Humans aren't good at everything."

"When did you meet my parents?" Dan asked, immediately changing the subject.

Phil looked wary, as if he knew what Dan was doing by changing the subject, and he probably did. "I met your parents on October 31, before that Halloween gathering." He smiled. "What are three things you like about me?"

Dan beamed. "I like your smile, your laugh, and your spontaneity."

Phil blushed. "Really? No one really likes my spontaneity."

Dan nodded. "Well, I do." He smiled lightly. "What can you do to lift my spirits on a day I'm feeling very low?"

Phil smiled. "I typically cuddle with him. Physical affection helps him a lot on those days."

"It's true. Physical affection grounds me to reality and, as depression causes an existential crisis for me most of the time, being grounded to reality is definitely important," Dan said.

Phil smiled. "I don't say this as often as I should, but I'm so fucking proud of you, Dan."

Dan frowned a little. "You say it a lot, Phil."

"But still not as much as I should. You've grown so much through these nine years, and I love you," Phil said. "I remember when you were so closed-off about mental health, and now you're so open about it."

Dan snorted. "So do I. It wasn't that long ago, Phil." He smiled. "I love you, too." He leaned over and pecked Phil on the lips.

"What type of flowers do I like?" Phil asked, suddenly remembering they were on camera.

"You like daisies. They're a happy kind of flower and don't immediately scream love," Dan said. He quickly moved on. "What do my parents call me with affection? Bonus points if you can tell me how you started calling me by that nickname."

"Your parents—and me, for that matter—call you Bear." Phil paused for a second. "When we were on Skype once, you needed to talk to your dad, so you put a teddy bear in front of the camera. It sparked something, and I started calling you Bear after that."

"Yes! I can't believe you remember that!" Dan said.

"How could I ever forget?" Phil asked. He'd never forget how that started. Soon after he had started calling Dan Bear, Dan had started calling him Lion. "What piece of clothing of yours do I like to wear?"

"You love my university hoodie. At this point, it might as well belong to you," Dan said. "I'm not annoyed, I love Phil wearing my things. I do it with Phil's things all the time."

"It's got your scent and makeup stains on it and I love it!" Phil said.

"Okay, okay, you can tell me why you love it in private later," Dan said. "What's the longest time we've ever been on a Skype call?"

"Five hours and forty-two minutes, November 24, 2009. You tweeted about it after it happened. That was the longest I've ever spent on Skype with someone."

"Me too. Last question?"

"Sure."

"Will you marry me?" Dan asked, pulling the ring out of his pocket. Phil kissed Dan. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, of course it's a yes! I love you so goddamn much, you know that?" Phil asked, beaming. He was so excited.

"Yes, I know. I love you too. So so so much. And I can't wait to marry you." Dan beamed as well. Phil turned off the camera and uploaded the raw footage to YouTube. He started typing out a tweet.

 

> New video! Dan surprises me with a big question at the end...

He added a few emojis and sent it. Dan quickly retweeted it. "Phil, I'm gonna do that more serious coming out video on my channel now. You know, about facing homophobia, and topics that wouldn't really fit on your channel."

Phil nodded, he completely understood. The two, although sharing a good amount of their subscribers, posted wildly different content.

Dan set up his camera in a chair by a window. "Hello internet. If you're here now, you've probably heard that I got engaged! I am now the future Mr. Lester. If you want to watch a more light-hearted version of what I'm about to say, visit my fiance's channel. I have both his channel and the video in the description. Today I'd like to talk about facing homophobia and the stigmas associated with being bisexual or just refusing to label yourself and just calling yourself queer or something like that. The topic today is a lot darker than what I'd normally talk about, but it's something that needs to be addressed. Homophobia is really sad, and it's a reality for a lot of people, especially in areas like Russia or North Korea or even people in a homophobic family. Bullies at school called me a gaylord and an f-word, and I don't mean fuck. When I came out to my family—well, I was outed, and yes, there's a difference. I'll get to that later. When I was outed to my family, they didn't take it well. At all. I wasn't one of the lucky ones. My grandma called me a dirty sinner. My mum doesn't want to speak to me to this day. When I go home for Christmas holiday, she pretends. My dad...my dad beat me. He's the one who found the Vulcan magazines under my bed. For those who don't know, Vulcan is a porn magazine marketed toward queer men in the UK. He slapped me across the face when he found my stash. I kept them in between my mattress and bedframe, so I thought they were safe. Apparently not. He told my mum, and my mum told my brother who then told my grandma. It was bad. I nearly got kicked out for it. But I didn't, and things are slowly getting back to normal with my family. Like they were before I was outed.

"Let me talk to you about the difference between coming out and being outed. Coming out is, first of all, voluntary. Being outed isn't. As proud as you may be of your sexuality or gender, you may not want to come out to everyone. And that's okay. Coming out is a choice. When you're outed, it's like you're being forced out of a space you're comfortable in. Especially to a homophobic family. My parents were thinking about sending me to conversion therapy, which, if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, it's a form of 'therapy' where they actually try to shock the gay out of you. It doesn't work.

"Biphobia is another issue. Some people don't believe bisexuality exists. If I didn't spend around 90% of my time on the internet, I wouldn't know it was a thing. People think we're gay people or straight people in denial. People think we're going through a phase. It's harmful to us. It's harmful to me as a 26-year-old. I can't imagine what it's like to hear that as a 15-year-old who's just figuring out their sexuality.

"Some people decide not to label themselves, which is 100% perfect as well. I didn't label myself until very recently, and even then I've only labeled my sexuality and not my gender, which is a whole other confusing issue, and some of my friends refuse to label themselves in terms of sexuality _and_ gender, and that's okay. People will pressure you to have a label, but as long as you're happy, fuck all those other people, right?

"Well, that video took a turn. It was a lot darker than anything I could've imagined it being. I hope this helped you understand people in the LGBTQ+ community's reaction to homophobia. And if you're closeted, just know it's okay not to tell people. It's really none of their business what your sexual or gender identity is."

Dan edited the video but didn’t cut much out. He posted it and then tweeted about it.

 

> whens the last time me and phil posted on the same day? you get a new video out of it though! this one gets a bit dark (even for a danisnotonfire video) just warning you


End file.
